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TV Reviews
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The Ultimate Fighter
THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER REPORT 5/28: Hyden's rundown of all the fights, all the drama on Spike TV By Frank Hyden, MMATorch contributor
May 28, 2008 - 11:45:12 PM
The Ultimate Fighter review
May 28, 2008
By Frank Hyden
As
the episode begins a decision must be made. The 4 fighters competing
tonight are all from Team Forrest. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is going
to have to coach 2 of the fighters, with Forrest Griffin coaching the
other 2. Forrest can't decide who to coach so Dana produces a coin to
determine who will coach Jesse Taylor and Amir Sadollah. Forrest will
coach them and Rampage will coach Dante Rivera and Matt Brown. Back in
the house we see Jesse gorging himself on all sorts of garbage food.
The other fighters comment that he can't be human to be able to eat
that way and still have the great physique he does. My friend Mike is
the same way, as is my brother. They can eat anything they want, and
often do, and not get fat. Must be nice to have that kind of
metabolism.
Dante is training hard with
Team Rampage. Juanito Ibarra, one of Rampage's assistant coaches, is
running the show and Rampage is taking a nap. Jesse needs to cut a few
so he decides to put on the plastic suit and play a little ping-pong.
It works as he's dripping sweat all over the table. Jesse apparently
has another technique to lose some of that "water weight". He climbs
out of the hot tub and proceeds to let loose. That's right, he urinates
in his shorts on national television. Luckily, the Spike TV cameras are
there and we're treated to a shot of it running down Jesse's leg. Jesse
may look a lot like former official John McCarthy but he emulates Tim
Sylvia when it comes to messing yourself on television. At least Tim's
skidmark wasn't intentional. Jesse got back into the hot tub
afterwards. Always classy. Dante got in the hot tub. I wonder if the
water's extra warm around Jesse?
FIGHT- Jesse Taylor vs. Dante Rivera
Both men are the same height. Jesse has a 3.5 inch reach advantage. Josh Rosenthal is the official.
ROUND
1- Jesse scores a takedown and starts to ground and pound. Jesse lands
some nice shots. Then he lands even more shots. The entire round is
nothing but Jesse laying on Dante and pounding him. I don't think
Dante's corner is saying anything. Maybe Jesse just has Dante in Team
Forrest's corner, I don't know. This is pretty boring. It's like
watching an ice cube melt on the sidewalk. You know it's only a matter
of time before it melts totally. Jesse's probably going to win a
decision. The round finally ends.
ROUND 2-
Jesse gets a takedown and starts to ground and pound. Eventually, the
ref stands them up since they're not advancing their positions. Thank
you, Josh Rosenthal. But it's all for naught as Jesse gets another
takedown and pounds on Dante for the rest of the round.
WINNER- Jesse Taylor by decision
Dante's
face looks like he was thrown facefirst into the pavement. Major glove
rash, cuts, bruises, and bumps. Meanwhile, we learn that Amir and Matt
share a room. Forrest thinks Amir is losing confidence but it's
probably just the way Amir is. He's pretty self-deprecating. Matt is
training hard. Rampage is using a mop with a glove on either end to
simulate leg kicks and Matt breaks the mop handle with his shin. I hope
they don't show that footage to Amir until after this fight.
FIGHT- Matt Brown vs. Amir Sadollah
Matt has a 1 inch height and reach advantage. Josh Rosenthal is the official.
ROUND
1- Matt throws some early punches. They lock-up and both men throw some
good knees. Amir uses his really good sprawl to avoid a Matt takedown
attempt. Amir throwing some big punches. Matt answers with some major
punches of his own. Both guys utilizing knees from the clinch. Then
they trade big blows. Amir is doing very well absorbing these punches.
Round ends.
ROUND 2- Matt begins the round
throwing some shots. Amir responds with big punches of his own. Matt
lands a knee. Amir with a front kick to Matt's face. Matt hits some big
shots. They go to the ground with Amir on top. He goes into the ground
and pound on Matt. But then Matt reverses and gets on top. However,
Amir slaps on a triangle and Matt taps.
WINNER- Amir Sadollah by triangle choke
This
is a tough episode to rate. Anytime there's 2 fights in an episode that
usually means that it's a good one. But the first fight was awful and
was a channel-changer, especially with the Pistons/Celtics game on ESPN
being really good. The second fight was much better but still lacked
that certain something that would have elevated it to great status.
Rampage and Forrest were relegated to the background due to the 2
fights, which isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as it's only for an
episode or two. I would like to know exactly what was going through
Jesse's head when he decided that it was socially acceptable to urinate
on yourself. I don't remember hearing about him stepping on any
jellyfish so I'll have to assume he just thought, "What the heck, I
think I'll pee on myself."
NEXT WEEK- Jeremy May crosses the line in an attempt to antagonize Jesse plus CB vs. Cale in a grudge match and Tim vs. Daniel.
