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By: Jason Bent, MMATorch Columnist We begin this week's episode with a recap of last week's Phillipe Nover vs. Dave Kaplan fight and reactions from both fighters in regards to what went down. Dave Kaplan went into that fight with no semblance of a gameplan and worried more about showing that he could take a punch rather than trying to actually land some of his very own. As expected, Kaplan is dejected and his teammates are as equally nonplussed over the outcome and the peculiar strategy which Kaplan executed that resulted in such a quick defeat at the hands of Nover.
Phillipe Nover has been confident at all times but he really became cocky following this fight and intimated that all other lightweights had better be wary of facing the "Filipino Assassin". I was not put off by Nover's bravado but it really shocked me, as for the most part he comes off as a demure sort of guy who seems to be the kind who would rather show you what he can do than to tell you all about it. Kaplan made a huge mistake in taking unanswered shots from Nover and he really made Phillipe look even better than he probably is. Nover is for real and is clearly one of the better lightweights in the house but I still do not feel he is the best one just yet.
After revisiting Kaplan's dreadful performance it was time to get the ball rolling towards the final light heavyweight quarterfinal fight pitting Kyle Kingsbury against Krzysztof Soszynski. A few weeks ago we learned that Soszynski had injured his thumb and now we see that he is really hurting and is fearful that he may have a fracture that could hurt his chances of competing. Coach Frank Mir tells Krzysztof that he has brought in a hand expert to check him out. I was expecting a surgeon but instead we see a boxing trainer is going to diagnose the fighter without the aid of any x-ray equipment or anything else for that matter.
This was the kind of treatment that one would expect to receive if they had the worst HMO possible. Can you imagine seeing a "hand specialist" for a possible broken thumb and just having the guy squeeze it a few times and tell you that you will be just fine if you ice it up and watch how you throw a punch in the future? I half expected Don Harris to tell Krzysztof to just rub some Tussin on it and slap him on the back before demanding a co-pay; cash only.
Soszynski is a tough guy but toughness is not enough to make up for injured hands, and even the hardest fighters have been brought to their knees to do such an injury. There is no doubt that Krzysztof will continue in the competition and it would appear that perhaps his thumb may not be bad enough to cause him to have to do anything differently. The only thing that remains to be seen is if Krzysztof will go out of his way to protect his hand in the fights ahead or if he really can still just go about business as usual.
Since we have spent far too much time at the gym and Soszynski's thumb it was time to head to the house and do some shots with Tom Lawlor and Dave Kaplan. First we had to determine just when the right time to drink was going to be, and Dave Kaplan asked the question, "are we drinkin' tonight or waking up at 6 to drink?" That lets you know just how serious Kaplan takes his drinking.
I set an alarm in order to make sure I actually get out of bed and make it to work in the morning but I can't say that I have ever set an alarm in order to wake up to drink. About the only thing I do at 6am is roll over, so I can't imagine being jostled out of bed and told to sit at a table to down shots. The boys decide to not put off until morning that which they could do right now so it was time to hammer beers and down shots with Tom and Dave!
Dave Kaplan is letting everyone know that he will never be knocked out and that the UFC will have him back again and again and the world shall learn just what kind of a chin that he possesses. Apparently he also wants the world to understand that he also has an iron stomach as the next thing that was consumed happened to be urine.
Yes, urine. Again.
There is so much urine drinking going on lately that I wonder if I am watching "The Ultimate Fighter" or an amateur gay porno featuring jocks who have a hankering for golden showers. Even the producers behind the program "Manswers" would probably tell the folks at "TUF" that maybe they should cut out the urine drinking unless perhaps they are hoping to syndicate this program in Europe or something. It would make sense if this season became a really big hit in Germany because they could certainly find a target audience over there.
Dave and Tom would proceed to drink each others urine which I assume is one step beyond becoming "blood brothers," or could earn them admittance into Luke Cummo's secret order of those who drink urine. Junie Browning decides to weigh in on things and declares that not only doesn't he drink it but no one he knows back home does either. When Junie becomes the voice of reason is when you realize just how insane this group has become.
Our MMA version of the McKenzie Brothers alternate between doing shots and chugging beers until they decide it's time to get out of all of those pesky clothes and frolic in Speedos. We are told that these guys must have packed nothing but Speedos, as they have apparently lived in them since day one, and this has really been an annoyance to the other fighters who don't seem to enjoy being able to see the outlines of their fellow competitor's genitals on a daily basis.
I can't say that I blame them for not being pleased at this sight, as Kaplan and Lawlor looked like something out of the "Schmitt's Gay" commercial sketch from Saturday Night Live as they ran around in their decidedly European swimwear. Again, this tells me that perhaps Dana is looking to sell this thing overseas in a huge way. Two men who have just consumed alcohol and urine and are wearing nothing but Speedos could possibly get a little violent and this is exactly what would happen next.
Kaplan, after having spent the better part of these hours bragging about his chin, has decided to goad Lawlor into punching him as a way of backing up his boasts. Tom said no a few times but finally gave in to temptation and fired off a hard right hand that dropped Dave like a ton of bricks. Dave Kaplan was out cold and looked like John Matua after facing Tank Abbott at UFC 6. Tom seemed to think that Dave was faking this at first, but soon realized that this was for real as he tried to help his friend up and found he was nothing but dead weight. Kaplan insists that he was not knocked out but this footage suggests otherwise. Tom Lawlor summed it up best by saying, "when a 205 pounder hits a midget, the midget gets hurt," which further explains how foolish Kaplan was in begging for Lawlor to punch him. Of course, this is the same man who employed that very strategy against Nover so why would he suddenly change his way of doing things.
It was time to make the fight official now as we headed to the gym and got the final word on the Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Kyle Kingsbury bout. Everyone, Kingsbury included, was feeing that Krzysztof was definitely looking past Kingsbury and taking this one for granted as an easy win. While it is never good for anyone to ever overlook any opponent, it would appear that the only thing that could do Soszynski in would be his thumb, or if he simply became careless against Kyle. Team Nogueira supported their fighter and all seemed to give Kyle at least a chance to win this fight.
We head back to the house and it is Ryan Bader of Team Nogueira who decides that it is time for another prank and a chance to get one back at the resident joker in Soszynski. The idea for the prank was to take every single unfixed object that they could get their hands on and place it in Krzysztof's room. The mattress was shoved into the closet and then they proceeded to fill the bottom of the closet with toilet paper. They finish things off by placing a sign on the door that read "UFC Storage Room." This was a great prank for the simple fact that it didn't involve everyone evacuating their bowels on the floor or something like that. By now I would certainly expect a prank along those lines.
Back to the gym and it is Team Mir having a workout, and we found that Dan Henderson was there to assist in training Krzysztof for his fight. Henderson has coached Soszynski for two years and wanted to help his friend out, which was a really cool thing to see. Team Quest is tight and any fighter who has had experience with any of their fighters will tell you the same exact thing. Soszynski has what seems to be a good workout and declares that while his thumb is only about "65-70%" and "hurts like hell" that he will still be ready to go and take care of business.
Team Mir returned to the house and Krzysztof, knowing he was due to be pranked, prepared himself for whatever Team Nogueira may have had in store for him. He sees the sign on his door which read "UFC Storage Room" and knows he is in for something, and he opened the door looking like he half expected a bucket of something to pour down upon his head. I too would have expected this, and would not have been shocked if Ryan Bader would have popped out from the door and simply urinated on Soszynski's leg as part of the prank, but thankfully it remained just as it was left and the room was just full of everything that could have been hauled into it. Soszynski thought this was pretty good for a first prank, and is clearly relieved that it ended up being so tame, but he lets us know that he is definitely planning one in return.
The time for the Coach's Challenge was upon us and we learn that the two coaches will take turns attempting to score soccer goals against the other, and that the first man to score ten would be the winner. The winner would receive ten thousand dollars and the fighters on his team would each receive one thousand dollars as a nice little bonus. It would seem that the challenge favored Nogueira until we learn that he never played soccer, and is apparently not very good at all.
"I was the only Brazilian that didn't play," declared the big guy, and this really did shock me as I half expected every Brazilian had to have either played soccer or stitched one of the balls in a factory while growing up. Frank Mir immediately declares that this one is definitely ready made for him to lose as he too believes that Nogueira just had to have dabbled in the sport and must be bluffing.
The competition begins, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is much better than he seemed to suggest, but in all actuality it is Frank Mir who is not even putting forth an effort which makes this one not much of a contest. Each and every time that Nogueira would score a goal on Mir, Kyle Kingsbury would shout "Goooooooaaaaalllllllll!" as if he were performing play by play for the World Cup, and this infuriated Mir to no end.
This clearly got under Mir's skin and ruffled his super competitive nature to the point that he would say that, "at first I was mad at how disrespectful it was but then I realized that they're losers and they're never going to be studs." That was not a joke by any means and showed what would seem to be his true colors in terms of how he views the guys.
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira would win this one by the score of 10-6 and took home the prize money for himself and his red team. Frank Mir would not let this one go and even took the time to announce that he felt that he is "two hundred times the athlete that he is" when describing how Nogueira just got lucky that this was a competition that he could actually win against Mir.
Frank Mir is definitely more full of himself than a self-fellating contortionist and he certainly has gained no fans since appearing on this season of the program. In fact, most people are hoping to see him get decimated by Nogueira in December as he has really rubbed many the wrong way, and this cannot be blamed on editing at all.
The focus is now on Kyle Kingsbury as he prepares for his fight, and we learn that he was a football player who kept his MMA career a secret from his father until his third professional fight. His father was a former boxer who was adamant that his son not fight, as he didn't want his son to become punch drunk as so many former boxers end up. Kyle explains how MMA is so much different from boxing, and that it's not the same case for this sport; it seemed that his father was more than willing to lend his support and give it a chance. Kyle Kingsbury trains really hard and believes that he has what it takes to outgun Krzysztof in the Octagon.
Time to take a closer look at Krzysztof Soszynski and we see that he is reflecting on matters at 2am before deciding that it was time to pull a prank. He chose to take all of the dishes, utensils and furniture from the kitchen and set them up on the basketball court for the red team. This either took him the better part of an hour or so or there were folks from Spike lending a hand to help him haul it out and set things up in such a manner. Again, I am just pleased that we are back to the simple pranks that wouldn't make Bam Margera recoil in horror, and this is a positive thing.
We learn that Krzysztof was born and raised in Poland and lived there until age 10, before his family chose to move to Canada in hopes of having a better life for their family. Hearing how he grew up in a communist country and about the sacrifices his family made for him caused me to see him in a different light. He feels he is living the "American Dream" or rather the "Canadian Dream" as he corrects himself.
The feel good moment continues as Team Nogueira realizes they have been pranked and takes it all in stride. Roli Delgado even dines on sushi at the table, which was set up on the basketball court, and it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. All of them seem to feel that this was a tolerable prank, but I still believe they are all just glad that they weren't pranked by way of waking to up to being teabagged during the night. The fighters all just giggle and consider themselves lucky that a prank didn't involve bodily fluids for once. I was half expecting a group hug or something with the general mood exhibited.
The weigh-in was next and both fighters tipped the scales precisely at 205 lbs. and now we really had a fight on our hands. In the moments leading up to the fight we learn that Krzysztof is actually feeling a little bit of pressure as far as being the first fighter selected, and that he feels the need to prove he was worthy. We quickly realize he has no doubts at all as he proclaims that he could fight with one hand tied behind his back and still win. "If he lasts past the first round, I'm going to be disappointed," is what Soszynski leaves us with as he shows us just how remarkably confident he is in his skills and his ability to defeat Kingsbury.
Our fight begins at exactly 10:53pm EST, which again lets us know that we had better not blink or else we would miss this week's fight. I do believe that they need to air the fights early enough that you are unsure if it ends early or goes the distance. In my opinion, this is how they need to edit the show and perhaps end the episode with post-fight reactions rather than opening up next week's edition with these. This one was going to be quick and it seemed that this would definitely favor Krzysztof.
Kyle Kingsbury began very aggressively and at least wanted to engage Soszynski in battle, which was a pleasure to see as I tire of so many fights on "TUF" which show fighters who are not willing to leave it all in the Octagon and would rather circle their opponent for a few rounds. The two fighters locked up in a clinch and Kingsbury was warned for low knee strikes.
The fighters looked to circle off of the cage but Krzysztof fell backwards to the mat and quickly pulled guard on Kingsbury as they went down. In a matter of moments we would see Krzysztof take Kyle's arm and proceed to arm bar him with complete ease and force his foe to tap out. I give Kingsbury a lot of credit for being as aggressive as he was but he got mowed over by a superior opponent and nothing more on this day.
Soszynski is more than just a striker, and he can submit you if given the chance, which he began letting everyone who was cageside know as he shouted, "I got jiu-jitsu too. I got jiu-jitsu too, baby!". While I will grant him this much it should be noted that he submitted Kyle Kingsbury, and I think he could have been a little more subdued in how he celebrated matters. It wasn't as if he just made a fighter like Vinny Magalhaes tap out so he should have showed more tact.
"Eventually the better man won and the better man is me," would be how Soszynski described this fight and again he certainly was not humble in victory. Kyle Kingsbury hung his head in defeat, but simply noted that he needs to "learn jiu-jitsu and put in the time," which he will begin doing in Miami with Coach Nogueira once this show wraps up. Kingsbury has been invited to train with "Big Nog" at his school in Miami so it is a guarantee that Kyle will soon have some jiu-jitso too, baby, and we could someday see a much better version of Kingsbury; possibly at the finale in December. Krzysztof is an amazing fighter, but I really do see something in Kingsbury and believe that this fight could end up not being the definitive statement on Kyle's fighting skills. Soszynski moves on to the semi-finals and he will be hell on wheels for just about anyone I am certain, but he shall face much better competition.
The preview for next week cuts right to the chase as we have one more quarterfinal fight to go with George Roop of Team Mir going against John Polakowski of Team Nogueira. Polakowski is quite the fighter, and one of his fights against Olaf Alfonso in the WEC is ranked up there with any of the fights of the year and I suggest you look it up and enjoy it for yourself. Roop was Mir's last pick, and I know little to nothing about him, but strongly feel this will be Polakowski's time to shine as he definitely is a real fighter worthy of a chance in this competition.
The next episode will also unveil the semi-final match ups, and I am really looking forward to seeing what fights are in store as the best will soon be facing off against each other in what looks to be like a very solid run of fights on the way. So, be sure to pour yourself a tall glass of something delicious and slip into your Speedo for what should be a very good edition of "The Ultimate Fighter" next Wednesday at 10pm on Spike TV. Although please do actually use the restroom when necessary and don't decide to use your glass to emulate the actions of the fighters.
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