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By Frank Hyden, MMATorch contributor The Ultimate Fighter report
November 5, 2008
By Frank Hyden
The episode starts with several members of Team Nogueira eating fruit from a platter that Tom Lawlor had requested. This has happened several times and Tom is upset and wants revenge. His chance comes when he decides to urinate in the newest platter. He's joined in his urination by Junie Browning, Shane Nelson, and Vinny Magalhaes.
Later, the next fight is announced as being between David Kaplan and Phillipe Nover. When they arrive at the house Ryan Bader and Nover begin eating out of the infected fruit platter. This is sick. Kyle Kingsbury also eats out of it. Kaplan lets them know about the urine. Nover runs to the bathroom and starts gagging. Strangely, Bader and Kingsbury seem to be ok with it. I do think it's largely a case of trying to no-sell it and act cool, however, but it's still disgusting.
Team Mir is training. Kaplan is a good wrestler and is trained in Muay Thai. Frank Mir really likes him and says he's probably the best lightweight in the house. Nover discovers that the sushi he has requested is gone. He starts yelling. He's requested sushi often but it always gets eaten before he can have it. He finds out that Kaplan ate it. A few other members of Team Nog devise a hideous plan. One of them is to whip up a batch of his own personal secret sauce. The seed is to then be placed in the sushi. I can't believe I just wrote that. This is horrible.
Team Mir is training and Junie is pissed because no one wants to roll with him. He throws a tantrum and yells. Mir has learned to just keep his distance during these fits. Junie mutters that he wants to join the other team so he can have some training partners. Meanwhile, Kingsbury is the man who goes into the bathroom to do the deed. He emerges and the stuff is put into some California Rolls. I feel like I'm watching a Farrelly brothers movie.
Kaplan comes home and eats one of the "special" California Rolls. They tell him the truth and he's extremely upset. He vows revenge of a fecal kind. Kaplan says it'll be a pleasure to top this but I don't know. Can anything he does really top this? It might equal it but it's hard to top this.
Team Nog is training and Nover explains that he's a nurse for a community hospital in New York. That's about all we get as move to a scene of Nover talking about a Filipino delicacy called balut. It's a fetal duck egg that's boiled just before it hatches and it looks horrible. Are they trying to cram as much disgusting stuff into this episode as possible? Nover eats the balut, along with a few others.
Junie complains to members of Team Nog about his situation. He begins giving Nover tips on how to beat Kaplan. I'm not sure if he really needs them but Nover is appreciative. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira comes to the house and talks with the guys. John Polakowski hugs Nog. Nothing else to that, I just wanted to write about something other than body fluids. Both Nover and Kaplan are predicting victory, but not in that arrogant way that so many other fighters do.
FIGHT- David Kaplan vs. Phillipe Nover
Nover is 3 inches taller and has an amazing 8 inch reach advantage. Josh Rosenthal is the official.
ROUND 1- Nover throws a few jabs and then a combo. Kaplan crumbles and Nover gets on top. Nover starts dropping bombs and takes Kaplan's back. Nover sinks in a rear-naked choke for the win.
WINNER- Phillipe Nover by Rear-Naked Choke
Frank Mir was speechless during the fight. Kaplan thinks he's the best fighter in the house. Did Nover knock him goofy? Mir also says that Kaplan is the best fighter in the house. Kaplan says his pride caused him to go away from his gameplan. It sure seems that way, unless his plan was to get smoked in the first minute.
This episode was a good one to watch with a bunch of other dudes. The disgusting quotient for this episode was off the charts. Seeing all the pranks and acts of revenge is perfect fodder for an endless barrage of jokes. I usually prefer to see more on the fighters but the fight this week was so short that I'm ok with it. It was gross-out humor but sometimes that's a good thing. This is a chance to bond with your friends as you explain to them how you would kill them if they pulled something like that to you. It's hilarious to watch, but only because it's not happening to you.
NEXT WEEK- Kaplan turns into a drunk and Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Kyle Kingsbury
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