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BENT: Kimbo Slice on TUF 10 - Dana White's Mandingo Party
Jun 2, 2009 - 9:40:17 AM BENT: Kimbo Slice on TUF 10 - Dana White's Mandingo Party

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Kimbo Slice on 'The Ultimate Fighter.' This statement alone could make anyone reach for their calendar to make sure today isn't April 1st and that it is indeed the 2nd of June. Is this really such a great idea? What, really, is behind this?

What we have here is commonly known as "stunt casting" in the world of television; and Kimbo Slice on 'TUF' is every bit of that as much as Britney Spears' on "How I Met Your Mother" was. This is every bit of stunt casting as Robert Browning's five minutes of egg throwing was in an early episode of this ninth season of 'TUF' was. Of course, the difference between Browning on the show and the announcement that Kimbo will soon take part is the difference between watching a miscreant throw eggs at someone and feeling like I have just been hit in the face by one by the UFC.

This is a great move. A great move for Kimbo Slice. Not a great move by Dana White, The Fertitta brothers or anyone else. This is a great move by Spike TV, who surely have as much say as to who makes it past auditions than anyone else. Yes, this is great for ratings, and I can tell you that every slackjawed, message board dweller with cheeto-stained paws who has furiously railed against Slice will be making sure his mom has his Hot Pockets ready when the first episode of season ten makes air. This is just not great for Dana White, as it only makes him seem as low as everybody else who milked Kimbo for all he was worth before telling all the world that he was not a real fighter.

See, everyone will tell you that Kimbo is not a real fighter. Just ask Dana, who has said this so many times in the past that you could probably build a celebrity soundboard on it; but like all of the others Dana is willing to make some real money off of the fighter who isn't. Which, sure, might make for some excellent "Crash TV," but it does not help the franchise of 'The Ultimate Fighter' to thrive and simply continues the transformation of it into a circus.

Hasn't Kimbo Slice been exploited enough already? Or will this not be over until TapouT finds a way to sell all of their Slice t-shirts and sweatshirts? Because his appearance on this program will surely be a way to move a few of these units to either the ironic hipster crowd who will buy Milli Vanilli tees or perhaps morons who will once again buy into the myth of Slice as a fighter.

The rumor also persists that Slice will not fight until as late as possible in order to garner the best ratings possible, and this reeks of manipulation and dare I say, fight fixing, on the order of Elite XC getting Slice's opponents to keep it standing to guarantee the most exciting fight. How is keeping Slice on the show and controlling when he fights in order to keep him on the show longer any different than Elite XC trying to guarantee his fights weren't over in a minute because he was submitted? Elite XC wanted his fights to remain standing so as to give Slice a better chance to do what they needed him to do and that was to win, and do so convincingly by way of KO, as this would bolster his reputation and line their pockets at the same time.

Why not add to the rumor and state that Dana White has made it so that Slice's first bout on 'The Ultimate Fighter' will be under the unified rules of boxing so as to make sure that his fight does not disappoint the fans who will surely be watching with their popcorn ready. I mean if you are going to hold off a Kimbo Slice fight in order to get the best ratings, why not make sure that fight is a success and keep it standing? Hell, why not keep it standing and allow Kimbo to get off three punches before his opponent can throw even one, as this would make for thrilling TV if Slice is able to score the KO.

Kimbo Slice wasn't good enough to make the cast of BET's 'The Iron Ring,' and here he is getting a shot on 'The Ultimate Fighter?' To declare this move as anything other than patently ridiculous is disingenuous at best. If you are one of those who declared his acension to the main event for Elite XC to be nothing less than a circus act, you cannot sit here now and tell me that this a shrewd move on behalf of the UFC, as this is nothing more than setting up the tent for a second time and hoping to con some more rubes who seem to want to watch Slice try his hand at MMA.

Will I watch it?

Of course I will. I watch every edition of 'The Ultimate Fighter,' and if this is the same for you then this move is not made for either of us. This is a move designed to get more eyes watching the program, and is nothing more than a cheap explosion which they hope will make enough noise that a larger audience than normal will tune in.

Will that happen?

Certainly. We as a public will watch anything, and the moment we collectively declare that we don't give a damn is the very moment we actually started doing just that. Hell, why not have Jon Gosselin compete on the show and take a stab at grabbing one of the ten million viewers who tuned into the season premiere of 'Jon and Kate Plus 8' over on TLC? Having Gosselin would draw at least half as many, and would certainly bring more women over to Spike TV for at least long enough to fawn over the husband who has been treated poorly on television ever since those eight insufferable kids crawled out of the clown car that is Kate's vagina. Bring him on and have him fight Kimbo Slice.

Have Jon Gosselin fight Kimbo Slice on the final episode, and trust me when I tell you that this would garner a ton of ratings.

It would also do nothing positive for MMA, and less for the UFC. Which is exactly why I am shocked Dana White and company are willing to go to bed with Elite XC's sloppy seconds. How can they have stood there and claimed he was an abomination and then the moment his contract is up they show up at his door pointing at a dotted line while trying to shove a pen in his face?

Kimbo has had many a pen shoved in his face by entrepreneurs who are looking to exploit him to make a fast buck, and right now I feel like something else has been shoved in mine by the UFC with this announcement.