Aug 27, 2008 - 11:28:23 AM By: Jason Bent, MMATorch Columnist
October 4 on CBS will feature some black on white pounding not seen since Ollie and April went at it under the covers on this current edition of CBS' “Big Brother 10'. Except instead of having to tune in to Showtime at midnight on the east coast you will be able to catch it all on CBS in primetime and for free. Kimbo Slice plans on playing the role of Ollie and doing his best to make Ken Shamrock's head smack against the canvas as if it were April's against the headboard. Everyone has a lot on the line in this contest and the viewer is the one who holds the power of veto by deciding whether or not to tune in for this sideshow.
Elite XC will be facing eviction as they really don't have much left to lose and clearly are in the same state of mind as your Uncle Charlie, the degenerate gambler who has lost his house but swears he has a feeling about the horse in the third race on Tuesday. I have a feeling about this fight, and right now I am feeling that co-signing for an unsecured personal loan for Uncle Charlie is a safer bet than Elite XC deciding that Kimbo vs. Ken is the answer to all of their woes.
Elite XC: Heat will be emanating from the BankAtlantic Center of Sunrise, Florida and will be headlined by Kimbo Slice going up against Ken Shamrock in a fight that is decidedly curious; and one meant to draw in a crowd who is just curious enough to tune in. Elite XC could pay Lindsay Lohan to shave their logo into her pubic hair and head out for a night of clubbing sans panties and probably garner a few more views than they will with this travesty. Most people would tell you that they have already seen Lohan's slice once and the same goes for seeing Elite XC's Slice for a second time. This guy was supposed to look like MMA's Mike Tyson back in May and came off looking like Buckwheat in Pro Elite's MMA production of 'Our Gang'.
Did Pro Elite post an ad on Craig's List under "fighter wanted" in order to find a suitable opponent for Kimbo? Elite XC acted like the teacher who overlooks the kid with his hand raised in Brett Rogers in order to call on the student in the back row who hasn't even brought a book to class all semester in Ken Shamrock. At 44 years of age and coming off of 5 losses in a row, Shamrock brings with him a name and not much else at this point. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that they had contacted Muhammad Ali in hopes of securing a name opponent for Slice on CBS.
Bas Rutten, who is Kimbo's trainer, had made the comment that he "would have liked to see it a bit later because of the experience difference" and that makes me wonder if they had hoped to sign this fight as part of Shamrock's 50th birthday celebration in order to gain even more of an advantage. Why not co-promote this fight with Barnum & Bailey and have Kimbo Slice pummel each of the clowns as they emerge from a Volkswagen Beetle emblazoned with the Elite XC logo? Because this fight is more of a travesty at the circus than the time Ringling Brothers slapped the horn on a goat and tried to pass it off as a unicorn. Putting Shamrock in a main event worked back in 1993, but so did wearing Zubaz pants and I don't think anyone wishes to see either in 2008.
The truth is that no one comes out a winner after this fight is over. If Kimbo Slice wins, so what, he beat Ken Shamrock who was well past his prime. If Shamrock wins, so what, he was the first skilled fighter to fight Kimbo and most expected to see Kimbo exposed when faced with his first real challenge. The real loser in all of this will most certainly be Elite XC. If Kimbo pulls off the victory, most will point to Shamrock being 44 years old and tell you that Slice did not beat a "prime" Ken Shamrock and still has not proven a thing in this sport. Should Shamrock be the one with his hand raised, Kimbo Slice's legend will be dead and buried. Ken Shamrock is not the guy to hitch your cart to in the year 2008 with hopes of establishing your brand in the MMA battle for supremacy; and how could you possibly sell Kimbo Slice to the public after having been beaten by Ken Shamrock?
This main event is the equivalent of taking your beater car in to Earl Scheib's for a paint job; because it might look good for the moment but you still have done absolutely nothing to see to it that the car will still be on the road by next week. Elite XC got their paint job in May and with the signing of this fight they are merely putting a coat of wax on the car while waiting for the tow truck to come by and pick it up.
Whether we like it or not, Ken Shamrock is still the name that many casual sports fans think of when they hear UFC, and that is the reason that Shamrock vs. Slice has the potential to snag some viewers for CBS. Hardcore fans know that the Toyo tires on Quinton Jackson's truck have put up more of a fight in the last three years than the "World's Most Dangerous Man" and will merely be tuning in for the freak show than for an exciting night of MMA.
Certainly the hardcore fans will be rooting for Shamrock to win as much as they view Slice with much disdain for being given more press coverage than any one of the fighters who are widely considered to actually be the best in the sport. So for those viewers this fight represents the chance to see Kimbo take it on the chin and for Pro Elite to land on their ass on network tv, and this serves no good for the sport.
Ken Shamrock got this sport off of the ground in 1993, but he could serve to cause it more harm in 2008 by being featured in the main event of a card in front of so many viewers who could judge MMA based off of Elite's second helping of Kimbo rather than anything else. This fight is the equivalent of a fiery car wreck on the highway at rush hour in that many eyes will see it, but it would have been better off for everyone had it not occurred.
Tune in to CBS on October 4 for the live broadcast of MMA's answer to 'Big Brother' and watch as both Ken Shamrock and Kimbo Slice fight to remain in the cage, and Elite XC fights for the right to remain on the network and in business. I think it could be double eviction night and I wouldn't be surprised if Julie Chen is on hand to perform post fight interviews.
