The Ultimate Fighter
THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER REPORT 9/30: Hyden's rundown of all the fights, all the drama on Spike TV
Sep 30, 2009 - 10:46:16 PM THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER REPORT 9/30: Hyden's rundown of all the fights, all the drama on Spike TV

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The Ultimate Fighter report
September 30, 2009
By Frank Hyden

We start with Kimbo Slice talking to Abe Wagner about his career. When he shaves his beard, Kimbo's done fighting. Roy Nelson talks to some of the other fighters about his career. He's got a lot more experience than Kimbo, that'll help him a lot in this upcoming fight. Keith Jardine shows up to help Rashad Evans out. His arrival sparks another argument between Rashad and Quinton Jackson. This argument centers more around Rashad's claim that Rampage got hurt by Jardine, while Rampage says that Rashad ducked him and didn't want to fight. They keep arguing. Rampage says that Rashad's nasty breath is what knocked Chuck Liddell out. He runs after Rashad with a pack of gum. James McSweeney walks by and shakes his head. This upsets Rampage, who questions James about shaking his head. James says he's not a kid who talks trash. Rampage says he can't understand the thick accent James has. Normally I'm with Rampage on things, but I think he's being kind of a prick this time. It's nothing too major, but there's no need to mock James.

Rampage questions Kimbo about a few things. Kimbo has been growing his beard for over 4 years. He also asks about the covering Kimbo always sports. We then see a montage of Kimbo training hard. The guy's putting in the work, no question. He's training as hard as he can at whatever the coaches are trying to teach him. The coaches are trying to simulate the size of Roy's belly so they get Zak Jensen to roll with Kimbo. Rampage is making a lot of funny jokes throughout. He wonders whether anyone could get Roy off of themselves.

Some of the guys in the house are talking about Roy vs. Kimbo. They think Roy might be too big to handle. Roy tells some of the other fighters that if you can get your opponent into the crucifix position and rain down blows that the fight will be stopped, even if the blows are weak. If shots are unanswered then the fight will be stopped. That's a pretty crappy way to win, to be honest. Yes, it's crafty, but it's also an admission on your part that you might not be good enough to win otherwise. If you're fighting in a one-night tournament, that's a great strategy to conserve energy. However, if you're fighting normally you should try to win, not get a crappy ref stoppage.

Marcus Jones has a hurting right knee. One of the other fighters wants to fight after Kimbo. Marcus gets upset when Rampage says that the other guy can fight next. Rampage says that since his knee is hurt that Marcus shouldn't fight now. Marcus gets really upset and walks off. Rampage goes back up to Marcus and they get things settled. Marcus is a really sensitive person. Trivia note- Marcus loves flowers and used to play Dungeons & Dragons and collected comic books. Marcus admits to being overly sensitive at times.

Kimbo and Marcus are talking. Kimbo's talking about his past, and some of the things he's been through. He's experienced a lot. Kimbo says that Marcus reminds him of himself. He says it's like Marcus exploded and he (Kimbo) is one of the smaller pieces. Team Rampage is then shown training, with a focus on Kimbo working hard. Team Rashad is training next, with a focus on Roy training hard.

FIGHT- Kimbo Slice vs. Roy Nelson

Kimbo has a 2 inch height and a 3 inch reach advantage. Herb Dean is the referee.

ROUND 1- They both throw several jabs. They're being tentative. Kimbo throws, and lands, some shots. Roy grabs a clinch. After a long time, Roy finally gets the takedown and quickly moves into mount. Roy slowly works towards pinning Kimbo's arm. He pins the other arm and gets Kimbo into a crucifix position. Roy throws a bunch of weak looking shots to Kimbo's head that go unanswered. You can tell Herb Dean is really close to stopping the fight, but he doesn't.

ROUND 2- Kimbo lands some big shots to start. Roy gets another takedown. Oh joy. He moves to side control, then pins Kimbo's arm after what seems like several minutes. He pins Kimbo's other arm and starts throwing more baby punches. Herb Dean steps in and stops the fight.

WINNER- Roy Nelson by TKO

Even Dana White is unhappy with what happened. Another sucky fight. Roy's strategy is smart, but also boring as hell. He technically won, but there's no way in hell anyone would say that be beat Kimbo. This is supposed to be Ultimate Fighting, not a slapfest. Roy's punches were like a kitten batting at a ball of string. At least Roy should be throwing bombs or elbows from the crucifix. At least try to do some damage. So far, this season has sucked fight-wise. 3 episodes, 3 crap fights. The episode itself was okay. It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. Rampage, as usual, carried the show. He was hilarious. He had more great one-liners in this episode than any other so far, including Season 7. He's awesome, and makes the episode more watchable. The rest of the stuff is all right. It's kind of interesting learning more about the fighters on the show. No one's really standing out, though. Of course, its still really early in the season.

NEXT WEEK- Marcus collapses, possibly opening the door for Kimbo's return