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COLUMN: Smack talk confirms Brock is Back, will campaigning alongside fellow hunter Sarah Palin be next?
Feb 1, 2010 - 3:41:50 PM COLUMN: Smack talk confirms Brock is Back, will campaigning alongside fellow hunter Sarah Palin be next?

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By Bjorn Hansen, MMATorch columnist

It may have been Brock Lesnar fearing a colostomy bag, but it was MMA fans who were soiling their pants when they found out the UFC Heavyweight Champ may not only be out of commission for the highly anticipated bout against Shane Carwin, but possibly forever disappear from the Octagon.

After UFC 100, (much to the chagrin of Dana and others), Brock spoke his mind about Bud Light's lack of "payability," his wife's usual sex position (I knew wrestlers are programmed NEVER to be on their back, I just never knew how deeply engrained that mentality was), and how he truly feels about Frank Mir, unconscious or not.

Brock doesn't give a rat's ass about tactfulness. He's an open book, willing speak his mind and fearlessly walk the tightrope of political correctness. While a lot of the nation was still on an Obama high, Brock was boldly complaining about higher taxes. When rumors started to sprout about Brock's colossal physique, he strangely explained to us that he was "built like a black man" (whatever that's supposed to mean).

Brock is proudly and clearly conservative when it comes to his political beliefs, and it would not surprise me to see him side-by-side fellow hunter Sarah Palin, a la Chuck Norris for John McCain in 2008. Think about it, if you're trying to provide a masculine image to quell any of the "I won't vote for a female" electorate, who better than Brock? He might as well already be getting paid by the Republican Party, as he tried to catapult himself as the poster-boy for America's existing healthcare.

Brock speaks his mind and we can expect nothing to change. He's a sound-bite machine; it's the gamesmanship prowess that made him his millions in the WWE. But this isn't so much a game to Brock, as it is jagged-edged sincerity intersecting charisma and charm.

Love it or hate it, Brock is on top of the MMA world, so let's see what MMA life without Brock would have looked like.

Just go over all the dream matchups we fans came so close to forgoing:

-No Shane vs. Brock.

-No Lesnar- Mir III,

-No Brock vs. Big Nog/Cane.

-And you could have certainly forgotten about Brock vs. Fedor.

Brock is not only the UFC's biggest heavyweight (when healthy), in terms of pounds read at scale, but the UFC's biggest answer to any competitive threat.

While boxing is undergoing a recent resurgence with the return of Floyd Money Mayweather and the continued superiority of Manny Pacquio, promoters and fans alike still nostalgically reminisce the old glory days of Boxing's heavyweights, like Ali, Frasier, Foreman, or even Tyson, Holyfield, and Lewis.

While boxing' biggest draw weighs a measly 145lbs, the UFC's answer, is a heavyweight in the truest sense of the word.

Strikeforce claims they have the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. The UFC's answer? How can he be the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, when he's not even the best fighter in his division.

When UFC 100 was approaching and Dana was still in "something wrong will happen today" mode, he insanely agreed to BASE jump off the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino if the UFC garnered an "outlandish" 1.5 million PPV figure. Thanks to Brock's media-gravitating, PPV-buying drawing power, we get to see tough-guy Dana screaming like a schoolgirl falling helplessly and dangerously (apparently BASE jumping is a lot riskier than the traditional jump-out-of-an-airplane skydiving.)

When the UFC needs numbers, they summon Brock. When they need a Fedor-counter, they think Brock. When boxing fans yearn for heavyweight dominance, Dana can smugly smirk and make that profanity-laced hyperbolic pitch he's so famous for and point at Brock.

So while, yes, Brock does bring WWE-like antics to the Octagon, the positives he brings to the table heavily outweigh the negatives.

At UFC 108, Paul Daley said he wanted "to be known as one of the baddest motherf---ers in the UFC."

Whereas Brock is recognized by Businessweek as merely ONE of the 100 most powerful athletes in the world, he is undeniably accepted as THE baddest motherf---er in the UFC, and unless he keeps avoiding fiber like its Obama's healthcare plan, his reign of significance and dominance will continue.

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Bjorn "Norwegian Nightmare" Hansen is a weekly columnist for MMATorch. If you've got questions or comments, send them to: bjorn.hansen@fiu.edu...

[Brock Lesnar photo credit Koichi (c) MMATorch]