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ProElite 2 Results: Hansen's live blog of Sylvia vs. Kraniotakes headlined card on HDNet
Nov 6, 2011 - 12:00:00 AM ProElite 2 Results: Hansen's live blog of Sylvia vs. Kraniotakes headlined card on HDNet

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By: Rich Hansen, MMATorch Columnist

The only live MMA action on your television tonight is not UFC 138, it's ProElite's second card since returning from the dead this summer, and it airs live on HDNet at 9PM ET from the iWireless Center in Moline, IL. As far as we know, it doesn't air live in any other country, so take that, world! USA! USA!

MMA Torch will have live coverage of tonight's fights as they air, co-headlined by two fights featuring former UFC Heavyweight Champions - and three-time opponents - Tim Sylvia and Andrei Arlovski. The card for tonight features not one, not two, but six heavyweight fights, along with a welterweight fight featuring Reagan Penn.

Elbows to the head of a downed opponent are banned in all ProElite fights.

FIGHT ONE: Richard "The Black Eagle" Odoms vs. Rodney Housley

Housley is 43 years old. Showing his age, his walk out music was Black Sabbath. Way to stay relevant, Junior. Odoms is one of the favorites to win the ProElite 8 man heavyweight grand prix, whose entire opening round takes place tonight. Note to Scott Coker: when you do an 8 man heavyweight grand prix, DO THE ENTIRE FIRST ROUND ON THE SAME NIGHT!!! Note to Dana White: You need to get rid of Coker, because even ProElite know how to book a tournament better than Coker does.

ROUND ONE: Odoms has a huge reach advantage, and is jabbing early and often. Odoms lands three punches, and backs Housley into the cage and has double underhooks. Big standing elbow from Odoms. Odoms has landed a couple knees, and is really pressing his frame against Housley. Not a lot of action and Housley escapes. 2 minutes left in the round. Housley winds up against the cage once again. Odoms is going for hammerfists to Housley's left leg. Housley escapes with 75 seconds left in the round. Odom lands a heavy left, and is really the better fighter here. Odom lands a big right body kick and a big left body kick in succession. Housley charges and takes Odoms down to end the round. 10-9 Odoms.

ROUND TWO: Nice leg kick by Odoms, which he follows up with a take down. Housley takes a couple of big rights, and is on his back. Odom is in Housley's guard. Wide open guard, but Odom isn't trying to pass. Of Housley's thighs were open any wider, he'd give birth. Not much going on here, Housley gets up, and lands a few lefts. housley has Odoms against the cage. Housley is putting up a better fihgt this round. And then he eats a thumb to the eye. His eye is swollen up pretty good, but this fight will continue with 90 seconds left in the round. Odoms is landing body kicks. Housley shoots, gets stuffed, and Odoms takes housley's back, but doesn't have hooks in. Odoms is throwing short knees to Housley's thigh and shoulder. 30 seconds left in the round. Odoms sldes to north south and is attacking the ribs of Housley. Housley gets out of that position as the round ends. 10-9 Odoms, but it was close.

ROUND THREE: This fight isn't particularly good or anything, but it's MUCH better than most UFC HW fights have been recently. Damning with faint praise, but still. Housley pushes Odoms to the cage 30 seconds in, but has no offense once there. He's as offensive as Full House. See, I'm as relevant as the guy who came out to Black Sabbath. Yay me. Odoms gets off the cage, throws Housley down, and is getting pounded with hammerfists while turtled up. Housley turns into Odoms, but Odoms spins along with him. Odoms had a chance for a submission, but didn't know how to lock it in. He seems content to land a couple dozen short hammerfists per minute until the horn blows. 90 seconds left, and Odoms has north south. He's landing elbows to the body now. Housley gets up with 70 seconds left. Both guys in the middle of the cage, and the fan in attendance cheers. Odoms with the sloppy takedown, and the tryptophan is kicking in.

WINNER: Richard Odoms by unanimous decision, 30-27, 30-27, 30-27.

STAR RATING: (**-) not much action, and Housley was outclassed. But it could have been worse. It wasn't Hunt-Rothwell bad or anything.


FIGHT TWO: Cody Griffin vs. Justyn Riley

The winner of this fight will take on Richard Odoms in the semi-final round of the grand prix. Griffin is walking out to Ice Ice Baby. Schiavello0s seems mildly impressed, but personally I'm a Rico Suave guy, myself. Riley is -310 for all of you degenerate gamblers out there. not to say that all gamblers are degenerates, but if you're betting on this fight...

ROUND ONE: Riley is a south paw. They clinch, Riley lands a couple big knees, but either trips or gets caught with a shot I didn't see, and gets mounted. Quick escape by Riley, and he gets Griffin's back. Griffin turtles, and is eating knees to the ribs and the occasional punch to the head. 2 minutes in, and Griffin hasn't come close to escaping. This looks a lot like the Odoms fight. Griffin is crawling towards the cage, but cannot escape. Riley's knees are methodical, and are landing flush. 90 seconds left in the round. Riley spins to north south then 45 degrees, and is landing punches at will. Loses leverage, Griffin gets up, but gets kneed to the head from the clinch. Griffin gets back to the center of the cage, but nothing happened in the last minute of the round. 10-9 Riley.

ROUND TWO: They show a close up of the timekeeper, who is wearing ear plugs. He must be anticipating future noise, because the crowd is dead right now. Riley gets a takedown and has Griffin against the cage. Half guard. Looking for a submission, loses it, but winds up in north south with Griffin turtled. This is a repeat of round one. Griffin is getting to his feet, but can't quite get there. Riley still in north south, but he's exerting about as much energy as Roy Nelson did against Kimbo Slice. Riley turned Griffin over, and lands back in half guard with 90 seconds left. Griffin is controlling Riley's posture. Riley gets the mount, Griffin gives up his back, and is getting pounded while backmounted. Riley has a figure four, and is going for a rear naked choke with 30 seconds left. gives it up, and methodically (read, slowly) pounds away as the horn blows. 10-9. Could have been 10-8, but Riley is picking his shots and saving energy as is he thinks he has to go 23 rounds tonight.

ROUND THREE: Griffin backs up to the cage, but while backing up he lands a big straight right punch that knocks Riley down. Griffin pounces, and pounds Riley out. What an incredible comeback, Griffin wins the fight. It was a big straight right that did it!

WINNER: Cody Griffin by TKO, at :32 of Round 3.

STAR RATING: (**) This was identical to the first fight, but the finish, and the fact that it was the guy who was getting owned who finished the fight, moves it up a notch. Very surprising finish, because Griffin showed nothing for 10 minutes.


FIGHT THREE: Ed Carpenter vs. Jake "The Honeybear" Heun

Back when the Bears had cheerleaders, they were called The honeybears. Heun trains out of Leben's camp in Hawaii. his last fight was a loss to Mark Ellis, who is the co-favorite to win this tournament. Heun has some atrocious ink on his chest. Carpenter walked out to Hells Bells, which is cool. But it was still at the sound of the bells when he got to the cage. So now Heun thinks he's about to fight The Undertaker.

ROUND ONE: Both guys throw, Carpenter gets Heun backed up to the cage. Carpenter has the longer reach, and 11 more pounds as well. Heun's landing some high knees while pressed against the cage. He's circling off the cage, but gets reversed. Carpenter dips down for a double leg, and plants Heun. Heun is looking for a kimura. He's managed to isolate the arm, but Heun's coach Jeremy Horn tells him to let it go. He does, and now Carpenter is on top inside of Heun's guard. I think they have 13 mics and 2 cameras on Horn. Heun is more active from the bottom trying to escape than Carpenter is from the top, but Carpenter somehow winds up in half-guard. Heun powers back to his feet, and they're back to the middle. Head kick by Heun and a right fist drop Carpenter. Hammerfists on the ground from Heun, and the fight is over.

WINNER: Ed Heun by TKO at 3:17 of Round 1.

STAR RATING: (**+) Lighter heavyweights make for faster action. Nice fight, and it was helped by the fact that neither guy had time to gas out.


FIGHT FOUR: Mark Ellis vs. Ryan Martinez

Ellis trains out of AKA in San Jose with guys like Cormier, Velasquez, Jon Fitch and Josh Koscheck. He's the heavy favorite here. Ellis wrestled collegiately at Missouri, the same program that turned out undefeated fighters Ben Askren and Tyron Woodley. Ellis' pro record is 1-0, with his only win being over Ed Heun. Martinez does hold a win over Justyn Riley, who looked good for 10 minutes earlier tonight.

ROUND ONE: Ellis is -500, Martinez is +350. Martinez comes out southpaw, which makes sense since he's a lefty and all. Ellis has a big reach advantage. 30 seconds of circling, and a couple of jabs from Ellis. Martinez should really be wearing board shorts here, as he's a little too pudgy to be wearing the thigh huggers. 80 seconds in, nothing has landed. I don't think Martinez has thrown more than 2 jabs yet. Ellis has raw standup, but at least he's circling away from Martinez' power side. 2 minutes in, nothing of significance yet. Ellis shoots from the outside, gets stuffed, Martinez lands on top, and he's landing huge shots on the ground until Ellis manages to get up. They show Askren in Ellis' corner, yelling PRESSURE over and over. He's a Billy Joel fan, I guess. Everytime Ellis tries to get in close, Martinez is throwing huge uppercuts to back Ellis off. Martinez' jab is pretty good, too. Ellis shoots, Martinez has a nice sprawl, and is controlling Ellis neck. Big knee from Martinez as they separate. 40 seconds left. No action in the last 40 seconds. 10-9 Martinez. Ellis looks like he should be a really buff accountant.

ROUND TWO: Martinez takes the middle of the cage again. 30 seconds, no action. Martinez lands a nice jab when Ellis gets too close for comfort. ellis shoots, stuffed. Martinez lands another knee, but it was illegal because Ellis had a knee on the ground. Ref doesn't take a point, just issues a warning. Ellis is 0 for 3 on the takedowns so far. Fight restarts. Well, the clock restarts, but the fight, um, not so much. The crowd is turning on this fight. Ellis is tentative, and Martinez refuses to get close enough to be taken down by the superior wrestler. 2 minutes left, nothing of note has happened since the restarts. Ellis tries for a single leg, stuffed, and he retreats. Martinez lands a nice jab, and taunts Ellis mildly as Ellis recoils. Ellis is pawing with the jab, but nothing more than that. Martinez' jab is very accurate, and Ellis doesn't like them. 10-9 Martinez. This fight sucks, and the crowd is crapping all over Ellis.

ROUND THREE: Ellis sure has nice hair. Gets stuffed for the fifth time tonight, and Martinez maintains a front face lock for 30 seconds or so. Martinez knocks Ellis down to one knee with a heavy jab. Ellis' corner is begging Ellis to attack, but nobody with such great hair can complete a takedown, apparently. Shoot, stuff, front facelock, but Ellis was down for a solid two minutes before he could get back to his feet. Once he got to his feet, he shot for a single leg, missed, and was back to turtle again. It's not like Martinez is doing, you know, ANYTHING, though. Ref finally breaks them apart, and we're standing with 75 seconds left. Martinez reclaims the middle of the cage, again. Ellis lunges with a right and slips. Comic futility from Mark Ellis. The Oakland Athletic second baseman Mark Ellis could beat this Mark Ellis in a cage fight. Martinez shows utter disdain for Mark Ellis as the fight ends. 10-9 Martinez.

WINNER: Ryan Martinez by unanimous decision, 30-27, 30-27, 30-27.

STAR RATING: (*-) Mark Ellis should find a new job. Smart ass MMA critic is a growth industry, especially when having to watch performances like Mark Ellis tonight.

T. Jay Thompson just ripped on the Ellis fight while being interviewed by Schiavello. Good for him. Just because you say a pile of dung smells like a rose doesn't make it so.


FIGHT FIVE: Evan "The Butcher" Cutts vs. Reagan "The Baker and The Candlestick Maker" Penn Some poetic license on the nickname there...

This Reagan Penn guy must have some awesome connections, because BJ Penn is going to be in his corner tonight. How awesome is that? The dude even looks like BJ Penn. How awesome is that? and he hails from BJ's hometown of Hilo, Hawaii. Again I ask, how awesome is that?

ROUND ONE: Penn is -325. Penn lands a single leg 5 seconds in. Cutts gets back up and is driving Penn into the cage. Ducks down for a double leg, but can't get Penn down. Penn circles off the cage, but Cutts regains the position. BJ tells Reagan to get off the fence, so Reagan does. BJ PENN IS THE BEST COACH EVER! Cutts gets a double leg, because BJ Penn didn't tell him to avoid getting taken down. Penn looks for an arm from the bottom, and the camera work is making me seasick here. Penn gets up, and immediately takes Cutts down. Cutts back up, shoots a double leg up against the cage. Penn has a huge welt above his left eye. Back to standing. Big left hook from Penn, and another. And another. Cutts is eating some big shots, but comes forward. Penn with a takedown, and he's in guard with 90 seconds left. Cutts looking for a kimura form the bottom. Doesn't get it, but uses it to sweep into top position. Cutts going for a D'Arce choke, but Billy Corgan fired her years ago. Back to standing, Cutts shoots a double leg against the cage. He takes Penn down with 25 seconds left. Penn has Cutts' neck. Cutts escapes as the round ends. 10-9 Penn. Best round of the night.

ROUND TWO: Trigg gave the first round to Cutts. It was close, but Penn landed those big hooks in an otherwise even round. Penn looks tired. Cutts gets a takedown. Penn looks for an arm, can't get it, and now Cutts is sitting on Penn's face. Penn gets to his butt, but Cutts has his weight against him well. Penn is already tired. Cutts on top in Penn's butterfly guard. 2 minutes in. Closed guard now. Cutts passes to side control. Have I mentioned that Penn looks tired yet? Half-guard now, up against the cage. Penn has his back against the fence as Cuts controls the fight. A couple big rights to the lump on Penn's forehead. Cutts in side control once again. Going for full mount, Penn gives up his back and Cutts gets his hooks in. Looking for a rear naked choke, but cn't get it. He's got a loos body triangle, but Penn is too tired to escape it. Goes for the choke again, and the figure four is tighter now. 40 seconds left. Cutts is alternating between punches and going for the choke. He flattens Penn out, still backmounted, and Cutts is pounding away. They roll, and Cutts tries for the choke as the horn blows. 10-8 Cutts, 19-18 Cutts.

ROUND THREE: Cutts comes out on fire, attacking from the get go. He drops Penn with a big left right left right combination. 4 kicks and another punch later, and Penn is down in the center of the cage. Penn almost fell down before the last strike, just from fatigue. Between rounds, he looked like BJ after round 4 of the second GSP fight. Cutts in half guard not doing much, though. Penn gives up his back, and Cutts takes it. Loose figure four, Penn rolls to his back, and now cutts is looking for an arm triangle choke. Loses the choke, and winds up in half-guard. Penn has nothing left. Penn manages to get to his feet, but he's in Cutts' body lock, and Cutts lands a few knees to Penn's gut. Penn against the cage now. Cutts drops down for a single leg, and lands a knee to Penn's face. Make it two, and Penn slowly drops to the ground. with 75 seconds left. Cutts is just grinding Penn down to a nub. Penn gets to his feet as the horn sounds. 10-9 Cutts, 29-27

WINNER: Evan Cutts by unanimous decision, 30-26, 30-27, 20-27.

STAR RATING: (**-) Penn got Fitched. Moving on.


FIGHT SIX: Andrei Arlovski vs. Travis Fulton

Travis Fulton has 150 career submission victories. Just saying. But I mean, his record is 247-48-10. He's got more draws than Cain Velasquez has total fights. And this is only his third fight of 2011, the slacker. The UFC should sign Fulton, just to say they did it. Fulton comes out to Sabbath. So we've got 2 Sabbaths, and two AC/DCs tonight. LONG LIVE 1977! Arlovski tries to look angry and intense, but really he looks confused. Nothing good can come from this fight. Either Arlovski beats a guy he should beat, and winds up in over his head his next time out, or Travis Fulton taps him on the chin and further cements the fact that Arlovski has a chin slightly glassier than that of Joey Beltran.

ROUND ONE: Fulton is +280; Arlovski is -350. No touch of gloves. Quick flurry at the beginning, but nothing of significance lands there. Fulton comes forward swinging and missing a couple of times. Fulton grabs Arlovski and pushes him into the cage. No action, other than the occasional knee from both fighters. the crowd is begging the ref to separate them, so he does, and the round is half done. Arlovski lands a nice uppercut, and Fulton backs off a little. Fulton is more active, but it's not like he's doing anything to Arlovski really. Arlovski lands a nice 1-2, and Fulton backed off again. Arlovski is starting to find his range, more or less. 1 minute left. LSU just beat Alabama 9-6. Oh sorry, still have to watch this. Arlovski is landing leg kicks, and the occasional jab as the round ends. 10-9 Arlovski, 9-6 LSU.

ROUND TWO: Fulton gets the middle of the cage right away, and then clinches Arlovski against the cage. looks for a single leg, doesn't get it. Arlovski gets leverage and reveres position. Nice leg trip by Arlovski, and he's on top. He has Fulton's left leg tied up as he stands over Fulton. Fulton wiggles out, and we're back to standing again. Both guys avoided damage, but then again, both guys failed to cause any damage. Round is half over. Arlovski has a very fast jab, which he's using not nearly often enough. Arlovski jabs, Fulton lunges. The crowd is getting restless. Fulton hasn't attempted a kill shot since early in the first round. Arlovski with a nice double pumping left hand. Leg kick then jab combo by Arlovski. Arlovski is trying to avoid the clinch, and is clearly trying to avoid the clinch and ground. He's more conservative than Michelle Bachmann on Sunday morning. 10-9 Arlovski. Blechh.

ROUND THREE: Fulton shoots for a single, can't get it, Arlovski on top in side control. Fulton's trying to keep Arlovski close to the body. short knee to the shoulder by Arlovski. Arlovski stands up, and lets him back to his feet. 4 minutes left. Can they wind the clock fast, please? I mean, it was only 7 days ago that I had to watch Kongo v. Mitrione. Arlovski with yet another inside leg kick. Fulton shoots for a single, cannot complete it, and Arlovski winds up in side control. Fulton is controlling Arlovski's posture, just like last time. If the goal of this sport wre to control one's posture, Fulton would be winning this round. Unfortunately, the goal is to actually DO something, so Fulton's in trouble. He's not in physical trouble, because Arlovski hasn't done anything. Schiavello just told the audience how bored he is. Schiavello: "The grandparents form Willy wonka moved more then willy Wonka here." Arlovski pulls away with 45 seconds left, and Schiavello with the hard sell. Fulton rallies by.... walking backwards for 20 seconds. he thinks it's a 9 round fight, clearly. This sucks. And as I write that, Arlovski landed a head kick with one second left to end the fight. Fulton is unconscious. And not in a Joe Rogan says the guy is unconscious while the guy is actually totally 100% conscious sort of way, but unconscious like get the smelling salts and a bucket of cold water to dump on his head type of unconscious.

WINNER: Andrei by Knockout, at 4:59.9999999 of round 3.

POST FIGHT: Fulton was on queer street for a good 5 minutes there.

STAR RATING: The first 14:59 earned a (0*) rating. the last .99999 seconds earned a (****). So let's be nice and call it (*+).

RAMIFICATIONS: Arlovski looked so passive. Fulton was outclassed, but game. It was unforgivable for him to not throw bombs as the fight was ending, so he deserved to get knocked out colder than dry ice.


FIGHT SEVEN: Tim "The Maine-iac" Sylvia vs. Andreas "Big Daddy" Kraniotakes

I'm not typing 'Kraniotakes' all night, so his name from here on out is Andreas. Sylvia weighed in at 266 lbs, which could be a very bad thing for Kraniotakes I mean Andreas. Sylvia is 5 inches taller, weighs 22 pounds more, and has a 3 inch reach advantage.

ROUND ONE: Sylvia went off at -320, Kraniotakes is +260. Both guys come out swinging. I don't think Kraniotakes wants to stand in front of Sylvia like that. Sylvia clinches him up against the cage. Oh, and I have Kraniotakes on my clipboard, so his name is really 'Ctrl-V' right now. I'M MISTER I.T., BABY!! Anyhoooo, since it's not all about me (sadly), Sylvia still has Kraniotakes up against the cage. Kraniotakes spinds himself off but Sylvia reverses. Kraniotakes lands a couple shots, so Sylvia presses up clser. Lots of dancing against the cage here, but at least they are throwing from time to time. Ref splits them apart. And both guys are slugging. Great exchange, highlighted by a spinning back elbow form distance by Kraniotakes. Sylvia grabs him and pushes him against the cage. Nice big elbow by Sylvia against the cage. Decent round so far, despite the constant cage work. Another elbow by Sylvia, but not as impactful as the last one. Kraniotakes needs to get off the cage. Kraniotakes gets off the cage, drops for a double leg, but that's not gonna work against Sylvia. 10-9 Sylvia.

ROUND TWO: Kraniotakes comes forward, but gets spun around and pressed against the cage. Super. Sylvia throws a couple of knees with bad intent, but only lands to Kraniotakes' arm and thigh. ref breaks them up much quicker than before. Upon restart, Kraniotakes charges straight in and gets pressed against the cage again. He's smart. He came straight in, got hugged and pushed straight back. No action, ref breaks them apart. Sylvia lands a counter right which makes Kraniotakes retreat fast. Kraniotakes presses Sylvia against the cage, Sylvia reverses.

***this fight show sucks***

Ref breaks them up, Kraniotakes comes straight in with a 12-6 elbow. Kraniotakes retreats after eating a shot, and Sylvia takes his back. Kraniotakes avoids, shoots, and winds up turtled with Sylvia on top. Kraniotakes rolls out, and winds up with Sylvia in his guard. 20 seconds later, the round ends. Bad round, but at least the shots Sylvia is landing are really powerful strikes. 10-9 Sylvia, again.

ROUND THREE: Kraniotakes swinging wildly and backs off, but at least he's not going straight back. Sylvia is fresh, which is a good sign for his future. Sylvia pushes Kraniotakes against the cage. I wonder if Dexter is on right now. Probably some movie about some guy who is far more violent than any of the guys who fought tonight in Moline.. Hell, I wonder what's on Lifetime right now. Ref breaks them up, Kraniotakes with a nice uppercut, but Sylvia catches him before he can get away, and we're against the cage. I wonder how much Schiavello misses K-1 when he's calling crap like this. Ref breaks them up. Kraniotakes and sylvia exchange wildly, Sylvia clinches and, wait for it, pushes Kraniotakes up against the fence.

WINNER: Tim Sylvia by unanimous decision, 30-27, 30-27, 30-27.

POST FIGHT: I changed the channel as fast as I possibly could. I may have sprained my wrist. Of course, the pain in my wrist is far less than the pain in my soul having had to watch this event.

STAR RATING: (*-) At least the shots Sylia threw were hard shots, and at least Kraniotakes was aggressive. Stupid, but aggressive doesn't win fights, though.

RAMIFICATIONS: I'm three hours closer to sweet, sweet death. I will live a much better life, because if there is a hell, I know what's going to be on television down there.


Follow me on Twitter @MMATorchRich. It's far less painful than watching Pro Elite 2